The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
