Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
