Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
