whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
