i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
