i just had sex bonerless
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
