Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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