Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
