i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
