dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
