You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
