I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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