I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
