Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
