"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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