I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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