Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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