Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
