I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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