He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
