dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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