i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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