My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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