Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
