my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
