Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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