Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
