absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
