Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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