i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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