very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
