i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
