Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
