8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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