I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
