If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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