it's like iHOP with fire
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
