is your mom at the bar?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this will be a night to untag.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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