I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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