Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
