let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
