she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
All I want is dick and wine.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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