idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
