So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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