Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
