you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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