You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
