He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
