I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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