They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
