So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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